“Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ.” Galatians 6:2
When I moved to North Carolina after college I was shocked by the kindness of people. It’s not that Ohioans were mean by any stretch, but these North Carolinians seemed to have an extra ounce of niceness… or what I now know as Southern hospitality. This realization came within the first month of my being there. People were quick to invite me into their lives and their social circles, making it much easier to make new friends in a new place. By the time Easter rolled around, just two months after my relocation, I had multiple invitations to join in on family gatherings.
As you can imagine, adjusting to this new level of kindness wasn’t too difficult, especially when you consider the many changes that are possible in a relocation. However, there was one thing that took some time to get used to. I quickly realized that many of the people who asked the typical “how are you?” in the grocery store were hoping for much more than a one-word response in passing. They actually wanted to know how I was doing. Of course they weren’t asking for a life story, but they were asking me to stop for a brief exchange of words. I remember one of my first times in the nearby grocery store. After the cashier and I exchanged the “how are you doing?”, she said, “so what are your plans for the weekend?”
I know this doesn’t sound all that bizarre in an isolated occasion, but the genuine inquiry of the cashier was replicated in so many of my interactions and with much more frequency than I had experienced in Ohio.
A few weeks ago at training for the disaster response team, we were discussing re-entry to normal life after a deployment. We were told, “Many people will ask about your experience. You need to decipher who wants an elevator speech and who wants to sit down and hear everything that you have to say.”
We have all experienced this. We have all had someone ask a question and not truly engage in our answer. In fact, it is likely that you have been the unengaged question asker too! I know that I have been and much more often than I would like to admit. But you have likely also experienced someone ask a question, while taking a seat next to you. They are engaged, connected, and genuinely inquiring about you.
I want to ask you this – who are you letting in?
I wasn’t going to tell the cashier in North Carolina my life story, and I understand that not everyone who asks about my deployment will want an hour long reply, but over the couple days I feel like God has laid this question at my feet, so I want to extend it to you as well.
There are people who want to hear your heart, rejoice in the good times, share in your struggles, and walk with you. They desire more than a one-word response. Are you letting them in?
While it’s not wise to let everyone into that space of vulnerability, I also don’t believe that we have been created to keep everyone out of that space either.
The other day a friend was sharing with me about something she is walking through in this current season of life. She said, “I have great friends and I’m so thankful. I just have to start being more vulnerable with them and talking more so that I don’t feel so alone.”
Amen sister. We can’t expect those around us to know what is going on inside our hearts if we don’t talk… if we don’t allow them in.
I want to encourage you to look around today. Who has God placed by your side? Who has God placed you beside?
When I look around, I see that the Lord has surrounded me with incredible people. Like my friend said, I have great friends and I am so thankful. Why then, when I’m hurting, struggling, or feeling alone do I often push away instead of open up? I close the door of my heart instead of inviting someone into that vulnerable space. I deny them access to walk with me and the opportunity to be there for me.
Can you relate?
Yet time and time again, God reminds me of the beautiful support system that He has given me. He reminds me that there are people in my life that want all of the details and He reminds me of the opportunities that He gives me to be that friend to others. More than anything, He reminds me that He has placed me perfectly in the midst of His family and that He did not create me to walk this earth alone.
The same is true for you. Who are you letting in today?
