The God Who Stays

Before reading on, I want to encourage you to pause for a moment and truly reflect on the following few questions, even if just for a moment. How would you define the season of this pandemic, COVID-19, in just a few words? How has it impacted you personally? Perhaps some would refer to this as a time of uncertainty or unpredictability. Some may describe themselves as being fearful, scared or afraid. If we asked some parents, they may use words such as exhausted, continuing on to explain how much greater an appreciation they have for school teachers and how ready they are for the next school year to begin. While others may actually identify this as a break in the rush of what had become their everyday life or even a time to refocus on the things that really matter. All of this to say that, though it may vary in relation to each of our current circumstances based on our jobs, families, financial situations, surroundings, and even the weather (just ask my family members who quarantined in the lovely Ohio rain and clouds for most of the spring), we all are and have been affected by the pandemic in some way. Our world has changed. Our day-to-day routines have been demolished, re-planned, and then destroyed again. Our trips to the grocery store have faded far from the quick “I just need one thing”.   

Throughout my first few weeks in Carson City, I truly did feel as though I was quarantining with God. Outside of driving to work and a trip to the grocery store once every two weeks, my car remained in it’s designated parking spot at the house. I was completely content with spending this time in a season of leaning in; a season of rejuvenation and God had placed me in the perfect location to do so. Although physically alone and in a place far from a single familiar face, I was eager to wake up and spend each day away from work with God, and God only. Day after day the waking hunger pains of my heart were satisfied. In the midst of the chaos revolving in the world, and as close to me as the workplace, I found peace.

During this time God really took me on a journey of revelation. He opened my eyes to a variety of things throughout the Word that I had not before taken the time to digest and He began to break them down in a way that I could understand. Among other things, many of the things I was listening to, reading, and reflecting upon led back to the topics of faith and God’s promises. The Holy Spirit began to connect dots from one thing to another, both from the things I was consuming each day and the things that I had learned in the past. Eventually these topics of faith and God’s promises were tied together and everything came full circle. It was at this point that I realized how alone I was. Woah – how can I go from being on Cloud Nine Quarantine with God to realizing I’m alone? It was a different type of alone. I wasn’t bored with God. I didn’t want someone that was going to tarzan swing into my life and take up all of this alone time. I wanted someone to talk about Jesus with. God had been showing me so many amazing things and my excited-meter was far beyond full. 

On the morning of March 29th I journaled a prayer to God explaining that I just wanted someone to talk about Him with. I was so excited to share all that He was showing me and it seemed as though every other conversation had been so fogged by COVID-19, both at work and in my phone calls throughout the weeks. Within hours, literally hours of my journal entry, I received a text from a new friend that I had made at the hospital. It read: “Hey! My friends Margarita, Tiffany, and I are going to get together to talk about the Lord this Wednesday if you want to join!”

These women and I have not been able to meet together since that day, but God has given us each opportunity to connect individually. Throughout the next three months each time I found out that I was floating to their unit, I had to grin, knowing that God was orchestrating a little refuel, and that is exactly what He did. At least one of them was working every time. However, even if I had never seen Alysha, Margarita, or Tiffany again, simply knowing that they were in the area brought an extra layer of peace to my time spent in Carson. The four of us are at different spots in life, as well as in our walks with Christ, but we are all pursuing the Lord and that alone builds one of the strongest bonds that I have ever experienced. 

Even in the midst of quarantine, both physically and mentally, God somehow weaved people into my life. Near the same time that I met the girls, I was reading out on the sand dunes near my house when a guy and his dad walked by with their dogs. Three months later, “that guy”, Hendrik, had become one of my closest friends. With an energy and a love for the outdoors similar to mine, we quickly began to frequent adventures together, whether it be running the beach, paddle boarding, hiking, biking, sailing, or just walking his dogs. Through Hendrik, I met Dane who I have since gotten to know well, mostly over many many miles of backpacking along the Tahoe Rim Trail. Later on in my assignment I was sent to the emergency room to work multiple shifts where I met a handful of people whom I have since gotten the opportunity to hang out with outside of work, including a few travel nurses and one group in particular that hikes almost weekly.  

Throughout my first month, especially with all of the uncertainty of the virus running rampant, there were many times that I found myself eager to be home – Ohio home. I wanted to hug my family and just be in their presence, and though I miss my family on many typical days, this was more than that. I was ready to run straight home when my assignment was over and just embrace each moment. However, as time grew on in this home away from home, I became increasingly thankful to have friends such as the girls, Dane and Hendrik, the ER nurses, and many others along the way. The host family of the house that I moved into started to become more like family to me, checking in on me from time to time and inviting me to join in on family time. I was especially humbled the night of my birthday in looking back to realize that two people who were strangers less than two months ago, completely set aside their day just to make sure I thoroughly enjoyed every moment and then returning home to the thoughtful gifts from my family and my new host family. I was finding the comfort of home in yet another place in this world. 

Inside the workplace I faced the oh-so familiar transition from uncomfortable to comfortable, but this time it was quickly accompanied by the recognition of a new opportunity. Throughout the first few weeks at Carson Tahoe the policies regarding COVID-19 were constantly changing. Although that can present some frustrations, I was immediately comforted in knowing that I was working for a hospital that was monitoring the day to day changes and adjusting to best protect their staff. Before long, we had multiple negative-pressure areas for potential COVID patients and our visitors were completely restricted. A few weeks ago someone asked me what my experience has been like as a nurse during COVID. Taking a moment to reflect, I explained to her that it wasn’t the fear of getting exposed that impacted me the most. It was watching patients get diagnosed with cancer in a room by themselves. It was witnessing grandchildren, who didn’t meet the age requirements to go upstairs, say goodbye to their family member who was getting admitted for hospice care. It was re-explaining to my elderly patients why their loved one couldn’t come visit them. And yes, it was watching people battle with the uncertainty of the virus alone. The seemingly already all-inclusive role of a nurse seemed to expand just a little bit more in being every patient’s physically present support person and though at times that became exhausting and heavy, it also came with great opportunity. For me personally as a nurse, it pushed me to be just a little more intentional in every interaction. It reminded me to slow down and get to know my patients just a little bit better and to check on them just a little more frequently. It encouraged me to be in better contact with their family members, who were often just as flustered as the patient, if not more. Even on the hardest, most emotionally challenging of days, I couldn’t help but realize that God had entrusted me with this role and better yet, He strengthened me most when I was at my weakest.    

I can’t mention the community that God graciously surrounded me with and this incredible opportunity that was entrusted to me through work, without also mentioning and acknowledging the perfection of where God placed me during this time. In the weeks leading up to accepting this assignment, I was also interviewing for a float pool position in San Diego, California when my recruiter suddenly called with this job option in Carson City. Though I couldn’t have even told you which state it was in, my recruiter assured me that he thought I’d really enjoy the area. Fast forward a few weeks and there I was – Carson City, Nevada (and no, it’s nowhere close to Las Vegas). My recruiter couldn’t have been more right. Being only a thirty-minute drive from Lake Tahoe and endless options for outdoor adventuring, even without COVID this would’ve been an awesome placement for me. Now, in the midst of this pandemic, I have no doubt that God knew exactly what He was doing when He directed my path here. In fact, a few weeks into my assignment my recruiter called me, who’s based out of San Diego, and told me that he’d call me back with some information shortly. I told him that I was heading out on a trail run and would call him back as soon as possible, to which he replied, “You are so lucky that you are there. We can’t even leave the house here!” Instead of trying to explain the beauty of this place, and in an attempt to make this just a little bit shorter, I’ll let the photos do some talking. 

Let’s take it back to where this started, but instead of looking for a word to describe this pandemic season, I want to encourage you to reflect on the way that God has sustained you in this season. For me, God’s sustenance was evident in so many areas of life. Often when I am driving I will put a worship playlist on shuffle and trust that God knows which songs I need to hear on that commute. During this past three months, there was one song that consistently came on and I can’t help but relate it to this season of my life. It’s called The God Who Stays by Matthew West and the chorus is as follows: 

You’re the God who stays. You’re the God who stays. 

You’re the One who runs in my direction when the whole world walks away. 

You’re the God who stands with wide opened arms.

 And you tell me that nothing I have ever done could separate my heart from the God who stays.

Even in the midst of a quarantine and complete isolation, God was not a stranger to me, and I would guess the same for you too. In a world that’s facing constant change, I want to invite you to lean into a God who stays. It’s not always easy, but I can assure you that you will never be alone, you will be strengthened in your weaknesses, and you will find peace in the chaos.