Open My Eyes

“But the Lord said to Samuel, ‘Do not look on his appearance or on the height of his stature, because I have rejected him. For the Lord sees not as man sees: man looks on the outward appearance, but the Lord looks on the heart.’” – 1 Samuel 16:7 

Five months ago I carried my bags up the gangway of what quickly became another home away from home. Nearly two years after being accepted to serve onboard the Mercy Ship the time had finally come. And today, though it’s hard for me to believe it even as I type the words, that time has come… and gone.

Amidst the many adventures that the Lord has so graciously led me on, the experience of the past five months is undoubtedly the most difficult to articulate. A friend on the ship once asked me to summarize my time in Senegal in one sentence. As you can probably imagine, that proved to be quite difficult and even the best sentence failed to snap a picture of God’s active work in and through my heart. With that being said, bear with me if this gets a little lengthy. (There is the reward of seeing many joyous smiles at the bottom of this post!) 

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“Was it what you expected?”

Other than “what was the food like?” and “was it hot there?”, this has been the most commonly asked question since my return to the United States. Not being one to create a slew of expectations before heading into a new adventure, I even surprised myself in saying, “No. It wasn’t what I expected.” But this wasn’t because the food was particularly good or bad, or that the weather was colder than I expected, or that it didn’t look anything like the photos that I saw online, it was for this one reason. 

I never expected to have learned so much about who I am supposed to be in Christ in a country that is less than 5% Christian. I knew that I was going to learn a lot through this experience and I had been “warned” that I would come back as a completely different person, but I didn’t realize how much I needed to learn in what I would consider the foundations of being a follower of Christ. 

Throughout my time in Senegal, I was shown what it looks like to be joyful in suffering, to be content in today, to forgive even in the most difficult of circumstances, to give out of a need rather than from an abundance, and to love one another without conditions. Brothers and sisters, I don’t know about you but as much as I would like to say that I do all of these things well, even on a good day, would not be telling the truth… especially in reflecting on what I have now seen. 

Joy in suffering 

One of the very first things I noticed of the Senegalese was their joy in suffering. “Life is hard” was a statement that I had heard many times throughout my first few weeks, but what really stood out to me was that I would’ve never known that had I not inquired. 

I will never forget the patient’s smile that I saw on my very first day in the ward. It was radiant. In the weeks to follow that day, I had the opportunity to hear more of this particular patient’s story. She hadn’t left her house in years due to being shamed from society. She had been deeply wounded by those once closest to her. And she had lost hope that she could ever be physically healed. Yet her smile glowed. Even more than that, she encountered post-surgical complications on our ward… and guess what. Her smile remained and her laughter filled the room. 

She will never know how much I learned from her, nor will many of the other people through whom I witnessed joy in suffering, but each and every one of them has surely left a mark on my journey.

“Not only so, but we also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us.” - Romans 5:3-5 (NIV)

Brothers and sisters, I challenge you to embrace and display joy in your suffering for the glory of God. 

Content in today 

In addition to the joy that I witnessed in suffering, I also saw great joy in the day; day after day after day. So many times, in asking how someone was doing, I was met with a response of thankfulness for that day. Thankfulness for simply waking up that morning and living another day. Thankfulness for a job and food for that day. Thankful for health and laughter. Thankfulness for family and friends. 

This really made me step back and wonder if I all too often fail to be thankful for the simple things because I’m so busy prying into the tiny details and looking for what’s next? It also made me think back to my home culture, where so often we seem to lose our joy for today because we are too busy striving for something bigger… something greater as defined by the world. We are often striving for the next thing, rather that giving thanks for and being content within the here and now. Don’t get me wrong, my Senegalese friends are incredibly ambitious, but I didn’t witness that taking away from the joy and thankfulness that they individually possessed for each given day. 

To my Senegalese friends, if you are reading this, thank you for showing me what it looks like to be thankful for this very day. 

“But godliness with contentment is great gain. For we brought nothing into the world, and we can take nothing out of it. But if we have food and clothing, we will be content with that.”
 - 1 Timothy 6:6-8 (NIV)  

Brothers and sisters, I want to invite you to sit with me in thankfulness for this new day to the glory of God. 

Forgiving 

As I was given the various opportunities to listen to many of my friend’s stories, forgiveness is something that jumped out at me multiple times. On many accounts, I heard about friends going through various circumstances that could’ve cultivated anger or frustration towards a specific person… but through each account there was a sense of forgiveness and understanding. In fact, that response of forgiveness and understanding seemed to be a natural response; a response that really stood out to me, but that I‘m not even sure seemed to be anything radical to any of the individuals that I was speaking with.

I remember sitting with one dear friend in particular. He so graciously shared his story with me and near the end, he was explaining about how he now had been given many opportunities to help the very man who had hurt him in the past. When I asked him if that was difficult to do, he assured me that it was easier to walk in forgiveness than to hold onto the hurt. Through our conversation it was clear that there was no question as to help the man or not. 

God was so clearly sharpening me once again through this conversation. Do I forgive in this manner? Do I walk forward in such great forgiveness that if an opportunity to help someone who had hurt me in the past presented itself, that it would not even be a question of “should I help them or not?”, but rather a question of “how much can I help?” 

“And forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors.” - Matthew 6:12 (NIV)

“Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.” - Ephesians 4:32 (NIV)

Brothers and sisters, I want to encourage you to walk in forgiveness today for the glory of God. 

Giving from a need  

When I think back to studying the topic of giving in my discipleship courses, there is one statement that was made by my teacher that always jumps out to me. 

“God asks us to give out of our need, not just out of our abundance.”

My time in Senegal has reshaped my understanding of this very concept, and that reshaping first came by way of a conversation with another dear friend of mine. He was explaining to me how it was common in the African culture for the working members in the family to give their money to the oldest brother in the family, after setting aside a small amount for their own immediate needs, so that the eldest brother may disperse it amongst the family as needed. As I asked my western minded questions, he said, “It is a blessing to share the blessings that God has given me with my family.” 

And to be honest, this concept of giving out of a need was reinforced daily as I watched my friends, who I know are struggling to make ends meet each day, give their food to a needy man on the street or pay for the other lady in the taxi or even as they cared for me. Oh, how many times I was offered to join in eating someone’s meal, and silently wondered if they had food for tomorrow.  

Through these experiences, I began to wonder what this sense of giving looks like in a western context and I ask myself, is it possible to give out of our need if we haven’t even scraped the surface of giving from our abundance? 

“As Jesus looked up, he saw the rich putting their gifts into the temple treasury. He also saw a poor widow put in two very small copper coins. ‘Truly I tell you,’ he said, ‘this poor widow has put in more than all the others. All these people gave their gifts out of their wealth; but she out of her poverty put in all she had to live on.’” - Luke 21:1-4 (NIV) 

Brothers and sisters, can I challenge you to consider this question today and then to act in response for the glory of God? 

Love one another   

In the middle of my service on the Mercy Ship my friend asked, “What is something that you want to work on?”  

My response was immediate. “Kindness.” 

There are no words I can write on this page that can communicate the kindness rooted in love for one another that I witnessed in Senegal. Unconditional, unwavering kindness and love. 

I could tell stories of the many, many times that I was met with this great kindness and shown  beautiful extensions of love from friends and from strangers, all of which I am so thankful for, but there is one sentence from a friend of mine that best summarizes what I am trying to share here. 

“I cannot put my money into a savings account when my neighbor doesn’t even have food.” 

There are many statements that I have taken with me from my time in Senegal, but this one is vivid, it is raw, and it is real. This one statement, by itself, captures what it looks like to love one another… to truly love one another and my hope is that you will walk away just as challenged as I have been by these words. 

“Then the King will say to those on his right, ‘Come, you who are blessed by my Father; take your inheritance, the kingdom prepared for you since the creation of the world.For I was hungry and you gave me something to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you invited me in,I needed clothes and you clothed me, I was sick and you looked after me, I was in prison and you came to visit me.’

Then the righteous will answer him, ‘Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you something to drink? When did we see you a stranger and invite you in, or needing clothes and clothe you? When did we see you sick or in prison and go to visit you?’

The King will reply, ‘Truly I tell you, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me.’” - Matthew 25:34-40 (NIV)

Brothers and sisters, may we love one another well for the glory of God today and in every day to come. 

– – –

Five months ago, I carried my bags up the gangway of what quickly became another home away from home with one prayer echoing in my heart.

“Lord, open my eyes to see how you see, that I may love how you love.”

Through the things that I have written about above and many, many other ways I can tell you that God didn’t just answer this prayer, but that He met me in this prayer DAILY. Not a day passed me by in which God did not open my eyes just a little bit further, nor did a day pass me by in which I did not learn how to love just a little bit better. 

I still have a long way to go and a lot to learn, but I am so grateful for the journey that God is leading me on as He continues His work of sanctification in me, as He continues to draw me nearer yet, and as He continues to open my eyes that I may see how He sees and love how He loves. 

That “warning” that I received in preparing to leave for the ship was accurate. I did not return as the same person and I now have a responsibility to carry forth these lessons that I have learned and the experiences that I have been entrusted with…for the glory of God.  

To all of those whom were a part of the past five months, either right by my side or from afar, thank you so much. Know that you are so very loved. 

With a growing love, 

Your sister in Christ.