Humble Confidence

I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go;
I will counsel you with my loving eye on you. Psalms 32:8 (NIV)

This past year has been a wild adventure with the Lord. Even in typing this, I have to laugh a little in being reminded that every year since I made the decision to truly start pursuing Jesus Christ as Lord of my life has been an adventure… and yet each year, I look back and think that it can’t get much crazier. But the reality is, if we are pursuing the Lord with our lives, if we fix our eyes upon Him, and if we trust Him with our EVERY step, our every single day will be an adventure. And more often than not, we will not only look back and label it as an adventure, but a ‘wild adventure’ because it will not be the unfolding of our own plans, but of His will filled with things far beyond we could think or imagine. 

Around this time last year I was at a conference when I met a woman at the Samaritan’s Purse exhibit booth who nonchalantly explained that she was switching roles in the organization and that her current position was being posted soon, “… if I wanted a job.” The very brief assessment in my mind led me to very quickly decline her offer and any further conversation about her current role. She clearly had much more experience than I did and I had plans to go to Africa for five months anyways. She handed me her business card despite my declination, so I put it in my bag along with the countless other cards and papers from the conference, and headed to the next plenary session.  

To make a very long story short, this past weekend I attended that same conference. But this time, I was the woman standing at the Samaritan’s Purse exhibit booth. 

Within that long story, which perhaps I will take the time to write in fullness someday, God made it incredibly clear to me that this job is exactly where He would have me to be. In fact, He made it so clear, that when I was officially offered the job I couldn’t say no. Not because anyone forced me into it, but because turning it down would’ve been the most blatant and evident act of disobedience on my part. 

I will be the first to tell you that in my eyes, I was under-qualified and under-experienced for this job. The job description towered much higher than the longest version of my resume, and I was just barely able to squeak by the minimum requirements to even apply for the role. My friends and family joined me in prayer, but they too saw the mismatch that seemed so obvious. But God. With every single twist and turn in the interview process, God made it clear that I was to press on. When I was approaching my departure date to serve on the Mercy Ship and I was still interviewing with Samaritan’s Purse, God made it clear to press on. When I cried out to the Lord in frustration and confusion, God made it clear to press on. When I received the job offer the day before flying to Senegal, the answer was easy, because God had made it clear to press on. 

Friends, I do not tell you these things to boast in me getting the job, but to encourage you that God’s children are not qualified by the world or through the things of this world, we are qualified by God through His Son Jesus Christ. Without a single doubt in my mind, it is God who has qualified me for this role. 

I am now just over three months into my job with Samaritan’s Purse and God has shown me so much. One of those things is what I would like to share with you today, and it is a continuation of what I have written above. 

The day that I signed my job contract, I was thankful that God had made it so clear that this is where He would have me to be, because as I mentioned, it made my decision easy. What I didn’t realize in that moment was how impactful seeing God’s hand through the process of me getting the job would be once I was actually in the job. 

God has repeatedly given me this two word phrase throughout these first three months: “humble confidence”. 

Humble. 

I have been humbled daily in this job. 

Daily, I have reflected on the way that God led me here. 

Daily, I think about the ways that God has prepared me, equipped me, and molded me. 

Daily, I have been reminded that this was not of my own doing, but by God’s doing. 

Daily, I have asked God why He has allowed me this position. 

And daily, I wonder.. “God, what would you have me to do in this role?” 

Confidence. 

At the same time that I ponder about God’s hand on my journey and that I am humbled in asking these questions, I have begun to recognize that God didn’t just bring me to this place where He is simply asking me to be physically present in this job. He hasn’t just led me here and asked me to occupy a space in a cubicle nor to just show up each day. Rather, He is has made it evident that I am to be here and He asks me to show up with the fullness of who He has created me to be each and every day. I am to show up with everything that He has equipped me with, standing in all of who He has molded me to be today, with my eyes fixed on Him in order to do this job according to His leading and His will. 

It’s the clarity that He gave me in the process that enables me to step into this position with a humble confidence that it is exactly where He would have me to be AND that I am the exact person that He would have to be in this role. Though that’s still a hard thing for me to type out, in not wanting to sound arrogant, it is the truth and it is the truth for you today too. 

Perhaps you’re in a position that seems too big for you too. Maybe you feel under-qualified or under-experienced for your job, your role in your family, or your role in the church. Maybe you’re approaching a mountain and you’re not quite sure how you’re going to climb it. Or perhaps you’re looking back on something and wondering if God chose the wrong person for that task. Well, guess what. He didn’t. He chose you. On purpose. For a purpose. And with a purpose. 

Brothers and Sisters, I want to encourage you today, don’t step into what God lays before you half-heartedly. Don’t waste your time wondering if He made a mistake or if you’re in the wrong place. Don’t let the seconds tick by while you’re just standing there stagnantly. 

Step into whatever it is, wherever He has led you, with a humble confidence that God has gone before you, He is with you, and He will follow behind you. If you are pursuing Jesus Christ as Lord of your life, with your eyes fixed on Him and your ears tuned to His word, step forward trusting that He is leading you on yet another wild adventure. And if this is the case, I offer you the very same warning that I have received many times: Buckle up and enjoy the ride. 

With so much love, 

Your Sister in Christ